Other Things.

Well, it's been a bit since I left you with my last blog, but I'm here and ready to post again, haha.

Work is still... work.  I've gone on and on about that enough already.  I think it's time to talk about other things.

Lately I've been feeling rather off.  Things are not quite popping for me.  That is fine, and that's okay, it's life, and I get that.  My days seem rather mundane, not in a negative sense, but in the sense that everything is almost the same... there's not much variety.  Again, it's life... and right now, and I'm sure as life goes on, I'm learning how to digest that in my daily life.  I'm not upset or complaining about it, rather, I'm unsettled and curious about it.  It's definitely something that is up to me to change, but there are times where I feel these days are necessary, because I won't comprehend or appreciate the awesome days that I experience.  And at least I'm not having crappy days, haha. 

I need to start writing again.  I haven't written a song in a while, and I can't control my creativity... it comes and goes as it pleases.  I can't turn it on or off.  I need to take advantage of it when it is inside of me.  Lately, when I'm feeling it, I am not in a position to make the best of it and express what's in my mind, heart, and soul.  It's hard for me to be content when I can't take advantage of my passion.  It really disheartens me.  It's like this: wherever I am, I'm not there.  I'm physically there, but mentally and emotionally, I'm not.  I feel like the shell of Eric Ulliman, because my eyes are telling of my mindset-elsewhere, but my body is there... I probably sound like a total creeper, but this is how it is. 

Today, I'm finding this to be my battle.  I'm dealing with the shell of Eric Ulliman.  I've written a song about these types of days, it's called Prisoner.  The chorus will really explain it all.  It is:

"I'm alive, but I feel trapped inside.  A prisoner in my own body.  Something's wrong, so I am trying to find- Why I'm not myself lately.  Is there something I am missing?"

This is the epitome of what it's like when I'm in songwriting mode, but can't take advantage of it.  It's also the perfect description of what it's like when I'm having the "not myself" type of day.

Anyway, I leave you all with this: We are all human, and we all have emotions.  If we are feeling something, it's not wrong nor is it right- it just is.  We can't control how we feel, but we can control how we handle those feelings.  That's what I'm trying to do today while surrounded by people who don't know this about me yet.

Thanks again to everyone who has been reading these, and supporting my career choice.  I am forever grateful to you, and I promise to spend a lifetime paying you back with the music I create.  That's what I plan to do, ergo, that's what I will do.