The last few months have been nuts! I've learned so much, and growth has come upon me like flies on poop. Here's what I've observed - I've noticed that life is not meant to be defined, yet I still try to define everything of which I'm a part. Upon my innate enjoyment of people-watching, I've observed our behavior, and definitely things of which I'm guilty; but, we have this primitive desire to define everything, as if it provides us security. So now I've made it my task to explore this notion: what makes us comfortable? What's our true security? And when I feel like focusing on myself: what the hell makes me feel truly secure? I've discovered that for a lot of folks, financial stability is a true security, you know, that green stuff that we hold to a value. Does money make me feel secure? - only to a mere extent, but I hold several things above that in my security. So what's my security? And back to the idea of defining everything, can I possibly just let things be what they are? Just taking them as is? These are 2 very powerful things to be figuring out while I pursue this music career. Sometimes it's impeded my confidence and self-esteem, in odd ways, but I think it's necessary to grow into a better human being.
So, I've dived into my head and heart, so deep that it has taken some time to get back to the surface, but I've learned my greatest security: human relationships, whether friendships that I hold, or my intimate relations with a lovely little lady at the time. With that in mind, I feel like I'm growing ever so distant from that which makes me feel secure. I'm making new friends, and that's amazing, these kats are opening my world and teaching me so much... But I feel this drive, this strong burning from deep within, to share my entire heart and world with someone who's got my back. Someone I can give to and love for the rest of my days. Where is she? More importantly, why do I feel this drive? Why do I think about it so often? It's obnoxious sometimes, but it is what it is. This time is supposed to be for me, my career, and my other true love: music. I've sacrificed so much for this love, too. But it's so worth it. I'd be miserable if I didn't. So, it's a complete double-edged sword. I've come to the conclusion that I need to stick to my passion, give everything I've got to make this career overly successful, and my "classy-hippie" will cross my path when the time is right. I put my faith in God that it's going to be alright. He won't let us fail, he just provides us the ability to choose to be successful, or fail, and the chance to turn our lives around and take new approaches to what we are trying to accomplish. Okay, enough on this subject: security. Next topic: defining things constantly.
Being in the music industry, this is so common, trying to define a genre or genres for artists. "Oh, hey, what would you call this style of music?" Why can't we just say, "Hey, it's rock," or, "Dude, it's country..." Instead we break it all down, like, "Oh, it's indie progressive alt rock." Or, "Well, it's country, but there's some blues and rock, and a slight pop feel." Yea, well, if you looked into it, and knew your music, you'd know that country is a form of the blues already, it's a mix of blues and rock, with a twang. So, why compartmentalize and break it down to such a difficult explanation? I've noticed with other things in life, we do this, too. "Are you a smoker?" Response: "Well, no, not really, not every day, but I'll smoke some cigs when I'm drinking, you know, just a few, but I'm not a smoker..." Umm, hello, you are a smoker, doesn't matter the extent to which you do it, you are a smoker, it doesn't make you a bad person, it is what it is.
Okay, I've ranted and rambled enough. So, I'm going to end this post now, haha. But I want to ask you, what makes you feel most secure in life? And can you just let things be what they are? Can you stop trying to define everything to this super-specific extent?
Okay, also, keep your ears and eyes out: dropping my second EP this Fall! It's "killer!" - you'll understand the quote soon enough :-) But this EP is 100% Eric Paul sound, the truest to my artistic integrity and heartbeat, it is Eric Paul. I know you will understand.
Thank you so much for reading and continuing to support me. I love you from the bottom of my heart, and I hope you achieve everything you want in your life, and make this world a better place.
Stay tuned! Goodnight!