So, after a night of incessant booking, I find myself still awake at 3 in the morning. My night has been REALLY productive. I have been sending out emails to venues in attempt to book for my band OneSecond. Along with that, I was applying to jobs via Monster.com in the city of Chicago, IL. With that cat now out of the bag, I feel safe in saying, I'm moving to Chicago, IL. Not right away, but within the year. Allow me to further explain what's up with my feelings on this epiphany.
I've made a decision. That's what I've been needing to do for quite some time. But hell, I've MADE A DECISION.
'Eric Ulliman has made a decision to make the right move and do
something grand with his life.'
-this statement resounds in my head almost every day. This is pretty unique for me. I've been so scared for so long to make a move, to step outside the many comforts and securities I've been surrounded by and with which I've grown so familiar. My entire life has been this billowy struggle. Billowy is a great word to use. I use this word to depict how supported I am in Dayton, OH, by family and friends. I've worked hard in my quest to continue perfecting my craft and passion of songwriting. I've been told how good my songs are. I've been told how well I perform on stage. I've been told how good I play guitar. I've been told how my vocals are well done. I've been raised in this environment that makes me feel GOOD about myself... but feeling good is only half the battle. I don't want to just be good. I want to be extraordinary. It doesn't matter what I get into. I am built to be great, I can feel it. I've got a calling to music. It's my soul. It's my emotion. It's my way to speak the feelings for others who can't express it themselves. It's my life. I have been SO determined and driven ever since I realized this is the career I am called to do. But that determination and drive was shrouded by my fear of leaving these comforts and securities. Well, I'm ready to leave them behind for a bit. I'm ready to struggle. I'm ready to succeed. I'm ready to take a risk.
That word, risk, has such negative connotation to it sometimes. When people hear that word, I feel the negative aspect of it jumps out and scares people. But, I believe this is what separates those who become successful and those who do not. It's the individuals who take that risk that tend to be so successful. You don't achieve success without taking a risk. When I heard that word back in high school, I admit, I thought a bit more on the negative side of things. But now, I hear this word, and I think it's beautiful. I equate risk with success. Those who are major and great in their achievements all started by taking a risk.
It's just like falling in love, how come we are so willing to fall in love and put ourselves on the line? Falling in love is a risk. It's a huge risk. To put oneself out there and not know what could come from it. But as I am in the highest conviction, love is one emotion and feeling that we are constantly chasing and for which we are undoubtedly willing to take a risk. It is of the highest desire in humanity, in my opinion. Love is amazing, and it's the best choice anyone can make. To be unconditional in caring for, about, and choosing that one person every day over all the rest. To take that risk. In my eyes, when you commit and take that risk, it's almost astonishing... it tells me that this one person put herself on the line for ME. That she is choosing ME, without knowing what could come of it. But it all starts with a risk. I've taken that risk recently within this past year. And you know what?- it's the BEST decision I've ever made. For the first time in my life I want to be a better person because I'm with someone who deserves the best. I'm unconditional towards this person, I don't take things personally, and I put their feelings at the upmost level of consideration. I will always be there for this individual. And I believe she knows it. I've never had a closer, more amazing friend in my life. And I adore the crap out of this lady. And for the first time in my life in a relationship, everyday is actually getting BETTER than the last. Such a cliche, but now I understand why it is written in so many love songs. Literally, a few months ago, I thought that things couldn't be any more amazing than they were at the time. But today, they are so extraordinary. It's the craziest thing. But how did it all start?- by the two of us taking a risk.
I think this completes my thoughts in my decision process, and how I view things. I'm ready to take on this risk. I have faith in the Lord, and I believe he won't let me parish. He already put an angel in my life who has made me feel more confident in myself than I've ever felt. She truly is my angel. So cheesy and cliche, I know, but it's true. I've got the talent, I've got the survival skills with which my amazing mother has raised me. My mother is one of the biggest reasons I still pursue this career, because she believes in me. For that I will be eternally grateful, and I don't know how I'll ever be able to make recompense to her. I was shown how to be a man in this world by my father, who is one of the most genuine, honest, hard-working men I've ever come to know. I'm built to survive, but I'm also made to succeed. The Lord doesn't make a man with such passion and desire for something unless it is to be used. This is my path, and I'm so lucky to make this journey. But not just that, I'm more lucky to be surrounded with the family and close friends that I have. But I can already say- I will always be so fond of, and appreciative of the lady in my life who has my heart, and will forever be in my consideration. The one with whom I am foreseeing and planning a great future. I will always love and cherish her. I'm the luckiest son of a bitch on this Earth. You better believe it, because I do with every cell of which I'm made.
So, Chicago is where more opportunity waits for me. It's teeming with live music venues, professional, career-minded musicians, management companies, even record labels! There's also a ton more people that live there, thus increasing my chances of pulling a larger following. This is the city I choose, and this is the career I am continuing. What's crazy is I feel like I didn't pick this career... it's always picked me. From the moment I was able, I was performing for family members, and singing my heart out. And as time went on, I realized how much I loved this great communication tool, outlet, and form of expression. It's such a gorgeous art. It's brilliant.
So here I am, now 4 in the morning. All I have to say is, watch out world, I'm taking you by the reigns, and thank you Lord for this talent and the people you've put in my life. But more importantly, when will I land a damn job?!
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